Socialisation (it ALWAYS comes up)...
- Sparrow Home School
- Nov 3, 2017
- 4 min read
When people ask my kids 'Why aren't you in school?' and my kids respond that we home school - almost all of the time the person will turn to me and say 'What about socialistion?'
I often find it amusing that we get asked this question at all most of the time. You've asked us that question while we are out. At the shops, in the library, on an excursion. You can see we are out and about, otherwise we would not have been there for you to ask this question.
Socialisation is not about being around 30 kids your own age 5 days a week. Socialisation is "the activity of mixing socially with others." Who said it means it has to be done and can only be done via school? Forced association is not socialisation. Socialisation is learning how to be with all people of all ages, from a range of backgrounds in a range of situations. It's learning how to liaise with the librarian, the person at the checkout, your family, and yes friends - these are life skills that are learnt just by living your life and it's limiting to believe it can only be done through a school environment. People have socialised since humans started roaming this Earth, school did not exist then, yet they somehow learnt how to do it or rather, they just did what came naturally.
I've had people say to me that we are not living in the real world. That my kids need to go to school to learn how to socialise 'like in the real world'. In the real world, you do not hang around 30 people, the same age as you, all doing the exact same thing, 5 times a week. I'd suggest that our way of 'socialising' is more real world because we are hanging out in that real world, all of the time. The children have wonderful home schooled friends (and great friends who don't home school) and really, it's not often they don't see their friends and other people in the community. They get to be with people because they want to most of the time, not because they have to. Friends are special because they are chosen, not forced upon them. They can have a conversation with a small child, kids their own age or older and adults. In school, kids may go on a few excursions a year, we potentially go on a couple a week. Sometimes we go by ourselves, most of the time we go with our tribe of home schooling families. Our immediate tribe consists of around 16 kids however depending on what we are doing, there could be more. On top of that, there are the parents of those kids, the people at the place we are attending as well as a range of people along the way and back again. The kids have home school balls, sports days, science fairs and so much more - they miss out on nothing. Trust me, we've got interacting and socialising covered.
It does make me ponder though, why does this question come up so much and seem to get people into such a panic?
Maybe the term 'home school' is taken literally. Like we are home all the time, doing school all day, by ourselves, isolated. That could not be further from the truth (see point above re our excursion time for one). That said, sometimes we have so much on, the kids will be the ones to ask if we can have a home day, so they can chill a bit more, follow personal interests AND in their PJ's (c'mon - who would not want to do their day in their PJ's?).
I had a lady come marching up to me at the shops once. Never seen her before in my life. She demanded to know why my kids were not in school. My eldest said 'we home school'. This woman proceeded to reel off her list of concerns, why they should be in school in her opinion and of course all her concerns about lack of socilisation and more, all in front of my kids. After a while, I interrupted her and asked her if she had kids. She says yes. I said I assumed she chose their style of education based on what she rightly felt worked best for them and her family. She replied 'of course'. I replied with, 'Then perhaps you could give me the same courtesy that I did the same for my family'. She opened her mouth, then shut it again. I could see the cogs turning, she looked a little embarrassed and just stood there. I then took my leave, wishing her a wonderful day.
Home schooling parents are adults. We did not wake up one day and say, 'I think I'll home school my kids'. You don't choose home schooling because it's the easy route. The reasons why you choose it are many and varied and very personal to you and your family. Just like the school and style of education others chose for their family. We are all doing the same thing, making the best choice we can to help our kids rise and shine and expand to fulfil the 100% potential they were born with.
Home schooled kids come in all shapes and sizes, have a range of personalities, gifts and challenges - just like every other kid in this world. And like most parents, home schooling parents are doing the best they can for their kids too. At the end of the day, home school or not, we all want the best for our respective families.
Understanding, respect and tolerance of all our different choices is key and of course sets the best example to all our children.
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